YEAR OF HAPPINESS // May Resolution

May, it was nice knowing ya! How are we almost halfway through 2021? Where is the time going?! And is it time for a new year’s resolution check-in?

I’ll be honest, I’m hitting a bit of a resolution wall. 2021 has brought a lot of changes and I feel like I haven’t had the mental capacity to truly and fully commit to every month of resolutions. Some months I’m all in, other months I completely forget what I’m supposed to be focusing on.  In previous years, I’ve set an overarching resolution for the whole year, which has allowed me days to disconnect and take a couple steps back if need be, to then take those steps back forward later on. With monthly resolutions, I’m not afforded as much time to waste if I truly want to work on making myself happier. Moving forward, I would like to find my way back to center and rededicate myself to my YEAR OF HAPPINESS.

For May, I wanted to focus on my relationships in life and let the little things go. I wanted to watch my tone, be less grouchy, and practice breathing exercises. And I feel like overall I did accomplish that. I may not have been practicing meditation methods to keep myself calm, but I do feel like I was less of a grouch to the people that I interacted with. In the grand scheme of things, I did let the little things go in a general sense, whereas in the past, I would have marinated over negative moments and feelings here and there.

When it came to the people I interacted with, I noticed that I was less of an Oscar the Grouch. But when it came to me, I couldn’t listen to my resolution and let the little things go personally. I was pretty brutal on myself this month. I found every reason to criticize my appearance, my attitude, my potential, my future, you name it. Not really what I had in mind for Mental Health Awareness Month. Instead of focusing on a positive mental mindset and my happiness, I took any chance I had to tear myself down. 

There’s a high likelihood that I’m not going to completely knock each resolution out of the park each month. But moving forward, I think I need to remind myself that I made this plan to improve my overall happiness and if I need to take a break to really focus on me and feeling OK, then that’s totally fine. I need to stop putting this pressure on myself to check off all of these monthly boxes, especially when I’m half-assing it, and remember that this is supposed to be fun for me. I need to be kinder to myself and this journey.

I’m looking forward to next month because I’m focusing on community. Since we recently moved to a new city, I think this will be a great opportunity to get more acquainted with our surroundings, while also putting myself out there more to give back.